Thursday 29 November 2012

Do you ask yourself the hard questions.....

This Sunday I couldn't believe it when I walked into church and the talk was on 'Hunger for God' - mainly because it summed up exactly what was on my heart the last few weeks and in which I felt challenged about ...... anyways Christian who was talking showed this video at the start and it made me laugh so many times I'd thought I'd share it on here!!! So take a watch......



Skit Guys - What Keeps You From Following God? from skitguys on GodTube.

Since arriving here in the states but particularly the last week or so I've been contemplating over ideas around what it means to be content...... To be content in ALL circumstance..... why I don't always feel like this.... what is it that I need to work on that I'd at least be heading in the right direction??!

As I reflect now on life back in the UK which was action packed and full with many roles (and in which I 'felt' content most of the time!) -  as wife, mum of four, church leadership, friend, administrator, daughter, sister, school PTA..... I'm aware of how lots of 'things' got added to the mix and I thought it was ok - just one more thing - but I wasn't aware in the moment of how all those little things soon affected the overall life I was leading. How easy it is to loose focus of 'THE' most important thing, the thing that without you actually become ineffective at everything else you do......

Since arriving here in the states my life is VERY different in terms of 'things to do' - I've gone from a focus driven life to one that is more like a blank canvas. It of course its not totally 'blank' (I have four kids for crying out loud ??!) but it looks very different. And although the difference on many levels is hard for my personality type if I'm honest its brought home the hard reality that in actual fact where I once made 'excuses' for not always prioritising quality time and I mean 'quality' with God I can no longer make these..... I now have had all the other stuff stripped and the ugly truth that my hunger for God is not as I would actually want it to be has come very much the surface!! Do I long to just be with him?  To give him worship? Is the one thing I seek actually to dwell in his presence?  Am I content with just doing this? There was once a time in my life when I could have said yes to these questions and been much more close to honest that if I was to say yes now...... gradually the little things snuck in, have slowly but surely zapped some of the hunger away, and given a false sense of being content.

Its hard truth..... I don't like it much..... but I know that in this season I have something very precious..... I have time and space to reassess - to breathe and almost take a sabbatical from all the things that I feel called to do -  but for someone who is goal driven and likes to always have some my goal for right now is to reignite a hunger for God that is non negotiable and that fuels everyday and everything I set my hand to. Its not going to just reappear.... its going to take discipline to carve time daily..... its going to take discipline to make good choices despite how I feel or how many other things are calling my name BUT I know God's agenda is with me on this one... right?!.... because He longs and would love nothing more! I know deep in my heart this hunger is going to go deeper than ever before - that I need to go to deeper levels with God to know Him and love him so that I have any chance of walking wherever he'd have me/us go next. But He's good and although its hard I'm excited.

So I'm starting by taking up the challenge set to us this past Sunday at church by Christian (one of the pastors at Vineyard Christian fellowship) - to take time ( could even be just 10 mins depending on where you're at with this stuff) every day for 30 days (leads up to Christmas eve!) to have time where you just dwell with God - no endless talking with requests but time to be. Sounds easy and yet so many of us seem to forget - or maybe its just me!! And I'm hoping I wont be looking to give it up once Christmas hits either (:

So if you're reading this I dare you to ask the tough questions....to be real and honest before God.... He won't judge or condemn you or make you feel guilty - He wants YOU.... He jealous for YOU.... He wants to be the love of your life with whom you can't imagine not spending time with because He has so much he wants to share with you, so many treasures to surprise you with. Nothing is 'actually' more important in the grand scheme of things!




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