Two beauitful girls...

Six years ago today I set eyes on my precious girls for the very first time. I remember being totally in awe and blown away by them. I had seen them literally time and time again on the multiple scans I had had in the months I carried inside, but seeing them for the first time was an experience that will stay with me for the rest of my days.......

Two beauitful squigy wet brown haired little girls who God has blessed us with snuggled in their daddy's arms - tears rolling down both Steve and I's faces as we sat staring at them..... quite literally blown away - a picture that is a life long piece of artwork in my mind .


Such an incredibly precious time. God had given us these little miracles. They were perfect. Beautifully created and formed just as they were intended. They didn't look totally alike. Katelyn had a little pointy nose and very petit features - Neve had a rounder face and three cute wrinkles across her forehead - and they both had a fantastic set of froggy legs from being so tightly squashed inside!! 


Today its their 6th birthday! They are beyond excited!!! Life couldn't get any better than this day for them right now. But as I take a little time out of the celebrations to reflect I am astounded by the journey these two little ladies have come on. There have been many hard times, despairing moments amid many many giggles and hilarious moments but today most of all I am the proudest of Mum's at that the incredible little people they are becoming.

And as a way of celebrating who they've bcome here's a snapshot of the things I love about them most!


Neve Olivia..... she's our fun loving, quiet souled, adventurer!! Most people know her today for her love of sport , her competitiveness and how much energy she has but as her parents we get to see her quiet introverted side too - the combination of which makes her so unique and I love so much. She is competitive, strong willed, fired up, and has a huge sense of justice, whats right and wrong and strives to be the very best she can in whatever she puts her mind to. She loves to know how and why & is happy to be different. I love watching her as she's getting to know her maker too....I am repeatedly amazed  by the maturity in her relationship with God -  She loves to read her bible and discover interesting facts and wants to listen to God when she talks to Him. She's protective of her family and is heartbroken when relationships aren't as they should be. She loves to help out and grabs responsibility when she knows it important to take it on board (she's the oldest and knows it!).  She's a leader in the making, not the kind who wants to be up front all the time (she gets stage fright!!) but the kind who will lead from the ground and have crowds follow her, just because of who she is!  I love my beautiful beautiful girl.



Katelyn Ruth - she's my people loving, life's for singing about show girl! She's outgoing and friendly but not one to be walked over because she has a quick sharp side to her personality that means she can't be taken for a ride! She's has a huge heart and loves to help people -she wants the whole world to be happy.  She loves to sing and dance and act and make believe and is confident to be in the limelight. She's great at bringing 'one liners' to remind me what God says at crucial moments but more than anything when it comes to her journey with discovering God and who she is in Him, she LOVES to sing to him. All the time!! (As you can tell we have alot of singing in our house). She's a great helper and particularly when it comes to her little brothers - taking people under her wing,  looking after them and making them feel special is definitely where she thrives. She is fascinated by relationship and like her sister hates it when things aren't as they should be. And yet her unique combination that catches my attention so often is how she can go from the soul and life of a party to having incredible concentration for details - particularly when it comes to anything creative. She loves to write, bake, draw, paint, bake, cook and play with tiny things. I love my Beautiful beautiful girl.


Neve and Katelyn are two unique little people who have the incredible joy of being twins - they are different and yet so alike in so many ways -  there is something incredible about being an identical twin and I count it an absolute privilege to be their Mum.

Happy Birthday Neve and Katelyn!!!

I LOVE YOU xx

permanent artwork

Ever had a moment when something that you've seen a thousand times or you've taken for granted for a long time suddenly catches your attention and its like boom, boom, crash, bang......wow! So simple, yet so powerful....... I had one of these this week.

Trae my youngest is seven months. He's been going through what's known as the 'separation anxiety' phase of babyhood..... this basically means that as part of his development he goes through a season when he needs to know exactly where I am all the time, and wants to be held and be close to me at ALL times! If not he cries and lets the whole world know about it (: Now as a Mum I'm caught in a catch twenty two..... on the one hand there's something in my heart that absolutely leaps knowing I am wanted, sometimes its just tiring. Sometimes I couldn't get enough of the feeling of his little arms snuggled round my neck holding on with a determination that says 'he's never going to let go so don't you dare put me down again mum'..... sometimes I find myself trying to sneak out of a room without him seeing in a hope to escape. But the thing that caught my attention and gave me the 'boom, boom, crash, bang' moment was when my oldest Neve noticed and pointed out that whenever he's sat on the floor he spends ages looking in every direction until his eyes find me again...... at which point his whole face lights up and he starts to smile, giggle and then attempts to try and maneuver himself towards me and doesn't take his focus off me..... in her words 'he can't get enough of you mum'.

Now although I know this and have seen this many times not just with Trae but with the other three when they were this age, it was like God caught my attention....

He was like....

"Clare this is just like how I'd like you to be..... I want you to want me like this, I want you to light up every time you hear my voice, I want you to search and search till your eyes find me and you won't be able to take you gaze away, I want you to walk towards me, I want your determination to be for me.......... but you know what Clare don't worry.... I hear you.... I hear your doubts of me despite knowing the truth in your head..... I know you wonder if I can always be excited by you even with all the ways you feel you let me down, I know you wonder sometimes if I can truly never get tired and will never try to escape, I know these, I know where these come from and I long to allow my love for you to erase the rubbish that has rubbed off on you which now your subconscious assumes about me..... because I am so much more, I'm more than you can ever comprehend, I know its hard to get our head round, I know some days its easy to feel it, to know and to live in the freedom of this truth that my love is unconditional, pursuing, forgiving, never ending, holds no grudges, and that I, God, could be completely and utterly captivated by you, by everything that makes you you, some days this easy, some days it not..... I get all this....... but hear it now.... look at the gorgeous boy...... you helped him grow, you nourished him, you've paced the floor when he's been beside himself, you'd do anything for him, you always think he's amazing, you rejoice over ever smile and love him, you've cried for him, you'd die for him, and this is even in all your human-ness, even though you get tired...... I'm so much more than this..... clock this moment, clock it, it needs to be permanent art work in your mind. I'm the artist. This piece will never change"

Its clocked. Its a permanent piece of artwork. Even on days when I don't see it its there. I know this in my heart and in moments when its hard to understand or feel it I know its true and I will pull this moment to the front of my mind.

We all need these moments? If you don't have one, ask God for one. Ask him to put a piece of artwork up for the long haul that reminds you of the truth. His word is truth. He is love. He's your author, creator and pursuer and longs for you to truly know him and walk the way he made you to walk. He wants you to walk with him right beside you whispering in your ear when you need reminding, when he's excited by you. I couldn't live everyday with Him. I couldn't make it through being a mum and being responsible for four little people without Him. And He knows I'm weak, that sometimes I doubt, that I don't have it all together even if I can be good at looking like this on the outside. He knew I needed this picture - his artwork moment.